


My man

by Oopswakanda (orphan_account)



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Lack of Communication, Love Confessions, Misunderstandings, Post-Break Up, Shuri POV, Unresolved Sexual Tension, home for the holidays, stupid couple is stupid, winterprincess christmas 2018, winterprincess week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 10:59:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17160770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Oopswakanda
Summary: In which Shuri's older brother invites her ex to the family's Christmas Eve party and she suffers.





	My man

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Winterprincess Christmas y'all. Hope you'll enjoy this one shot !

There had been multiple times when she thought there were traitors in her family but none of them ever actually involved T’Challa. He’s supposed to be the most loyal and lawful member of the Udaku household. The previous day, Shuri jumped in his arms at the joy of finally reuniting with her older brother. It had been four years since they didn’t get to spend Christmas together. But now, she considered throttling him to the ground like she used to when they were kids. Except the sentiment wasn’t motivated by playfulness this time. Shuri wanted to hurt as much she was being hurt.

 

She made a show to slide the closure of her suitcase aggressively. The gesture didn’t go unnoticed and T’Challa frowned.

 

« Why would you even do that ?! », Shuri screeched before pacing the room back and forth.

 

«He’s a nice guy, Shuri and-»

 

She scoffed at that. T’Challa kept silent for a few seconds, probably trying to find the most diplomatic way to explain why he invited his sister’s ex-boyfriend for Christmas.

 

« I know you and Barnes didn’t end your relationship on good terms but he was my friend too. We did our first tour in Afghanistan together, remember? Look, i wouldn’t have invited him for the holidays if i knew you were coming. »

 

Shuri stopped pacing the room as soon as T’Challa uttered the words. This was getting worse than she ever thought. She walked in the bed’s direction to tower over her brother.

 

« So not only you invited your little sister’s ex to a family reunion but you planned to do it behind her back ? Is this supposed to make me feel better about the whole fucking thing ?!! »

 

At least, he had the decency to look the tiniest bit regretful but she could see still the strong resolve in his brown gaze.

 

« Shuri. I know you’ve been spending the last Christmas holidays working your ass off at Stark Industries. We all assumed you weren’t going to come home this year either. »

 

The cross of her arms loosened as her expression turned from fury to neutrality. It was no secret to anyone Shuri avoided Oakland like plague because of the memories. James Bucky Barnes was both T’Challa’s childhood friend and her first love. His grandma literally used to live two streets down the Udakus. Still, he broke her heart or she should say, shot through it when she found that half-naked red haired woman in his apartment. She wanted to make him a surprise visit but she was the one who ended being gobsmacked. Figured he was an amazing liar for acting so insecure and protective over her when in reality, he was having his own eastern european booty call on the side.

 

It had been four years since the break up but reminiscing about it was akin to put salt on a fresh wound. Salt that her own family didn’t seem to mind scrubbing in at such a sensitive time of the year.

 

Shuri arrived from New-York the day before and she could still feel the remnants of the office rush hours. With a sigh, she sat on the bed next to her brother but refused to make eye contact.

 

« Who else knows ? », she asked before setting her mouth into a thin line.

 

Silence answered her question and gave her everything she needed to know. Bucky Barnes had been considered family way before they entered a relationship together and after the split, most family members acted either dramatic or diplomatic about it but Shuri knew her mother missed the man she already considered a son terribly. And while she would never admit out loud, there was a part of Shuri that still missed the bastard too.

 

« Traitors », Shuri said as she shook her head once again. « I should have spent Christmas with the Starks again .»

 

T’Challa lightly bumped her shoulder with his and Shuri retaliated with a mean punch. He massaged his bicep with a fond but exxasperated smile.

 

« I wouldn’t have done that if this wasn’t an emergency you know », he said with a determined tone after they both let a meaningful silence settle.

 

Shuri finally caught his gaze and stared at him for a long minute. He wasn’t a cruel man so she really wondered why her brother took such a decision, knowing this would twist her sister’s stomach like this.

 

« What kind of emergency requires you to be the worst brother of the year T’Challa?»

 

When he caught the way her eyes blazed with anger and resentment, he put a protective arm around her shoulders and gave her a comforting squeeze.

 

« It’s not my place to tell but trust me when i tell you i didn’t invite Barnes with any malign intention. He would have spent Christmas alone if i didn’t invite him."

 

She squinted her eyes with suspicion and T’Challa sighed.

 

« No. This isn’t a secret plan to get the both of you back together ! I’m not Mama.»

 

Tense shoulders and mouth set into a thin line, Shuri nodded noncomittally.

 

* * *

 

 It was bound to be a colossal mistake, she thought as she stood in the kitchen, perched on silver stiletto heels and helping Ramonda putting the finishing touches to the entrées. Her uncle N'Jobu and his son Erik were probably already raiding the mini bar and there was a happy hubbub of chatter and music coming from the living room. But Shuri couldn't partake in the festivities. Anxiety was clouding her mind at the thought of seeing Bucky again after years of trying to erase him from her memories. He only became a true ghost of her past the last few months ago and she feared she wouldn't manage to control her emotions when he'd be there. 

 

She made her way to the living room with a tray full of toast and nearly tripped when the doorbell rang.

 

Her first instinct was to hide behind the chairs clad in giant white and red bonnets but she reminded herself she wasn't the one responsible for damaging their relationship. So she squared her shoulders, puffed her chest out and ignored the alarm sign given by her own brain.  Besides, she did look great in her fitted white dress with an A line nest hugging her from neck to the base of her chest.  Shuri did a lot of things out of spite and she wanted to look her best self tonight. The petty part of her wanted to show Bucky Barnes how well she was doing without him. As T’Challa came back from the entryway accompanied by one of their many aunties and her plus one, Shuri sighed in relief and needlessly ironed her clothes with a brush of her hands. Then, she slithered in between the guests to get to the mini bar cabinet.

 

Her nails drummed on the solid wood as she considered what kind of alcohol she needed in her system to survive the party.  Her gaze raked over the shelves and finally stopped on a bottle of jamaican rhum before she felt a rush of movement behind her.

 

“How you doin’ Gloria Gaynor ?”, Erik quipped before following her gaze and whistling.

 

“You have no right to judge me with that kind of fashion faux-pas”, Shuri countered as she took a look at his green suit which was littered with christmas socks and candy canes with a blue shirt underneath the blazer. It clashed so much with his usual style that she choked on laughter when she first greeted him.

 

“At least, I respected the theme”, her cousin said as he gave her a mock once over. Christmas was a very serious matter in the Udaku household and her mother always insisted that each family member respected the dress code at her party. Once, she refused to let Erik enter the house because he dared to wear jeans and a t-shirt.

 

Shuri pointed at her ears which were adorned with crystal and rhinestone snowflakes. Her cousin smiled as he took the rhum bottle and proceeded to boast about his barmaiding skills. Shuri asked him to prepare her a rhum brandy punch.

 

“Did you see Aunt Viv’s new boytoy ?”, he snickered as he took a can of pineapple juice.

 

She looked behind her shoulder and her brows slightly raised at the sight of Aunt Viv’s new significant other. She usually sets her eyes on younger boyfriends but none of them had been white before.

 

Erik gave her a shit-eating grin when their eyes caught each other.

 

“What ?”

 

“I thought there was one _snow quee_ n in this house cuz, now I realize there’s two.”

 

Knowing full well the jab was directed to her, Shuri flipped him off, prompting him to burst into laughter.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, there were still four guests missing, including Bucky.

 

It was no surprise coming from their Malagasy friends who were always late to anything and everything but her ex was usually punctual to the point of getting on her nerves. This was one of the many things they bickered over when they were a couple. He never missed an appointment and always loved to be fifteen to twenty minutes early whereas Shuri usually begged for “five more minutes” when she was in the bathroom.

 

It was nearly 21:00 pm. And he was an hour late.

 

There was a dull ache in her chest as she sipped at her cocktail, nestled into one corner of the room. She didn’t even know why it put her in an even more sour mood. Maybe he changed his mind and she should be relishing on that instead of gnashing her teeth.

 

Uncle N’Jobu was playing a christmas carol on the piano, joined by the youngest guest of the house, a toddler girl called Imani who was also wearing the cutest santa dress up, giving everyone massive amounts of baby fever everytime she passed close.

 

“You alright ?”, T’Challa said as she joined her.

 

Shuri answered with a shrug before glancing at his ugly red and white sweater and looked at her brother in confusion. He shrugged as well and rested his back against the wall. They both looked at their family with appreciation.

 

“Mama went all out with the Christmas decorations again huh”, she said as her eyes roamed over the Christmas crib which took the entire pan of a mural drawer.

 

T’Challa chuckled. “She really did. This makes her so happy.” But the look he gave her next was full of wariness. Shuri rolled her eyes.

 

“I’m not going to cause any scandal bro. This is Christmas.”

 

The set of his shoulders loosened at that and Shuri shook her head before swallowing down the rest of her second rhum brandy. She wiped off her mouth with the back of her hand and gestured at her brother to hold her empty glass before fleeing. Minutes later, she was in the bathroom, gripping the hems of the basin and staring at her reflection in the giant mirror.

 

It’s not like she didn’t get any company after the break up but the possibility of seeing the man she considered the love of her life was daunting. He was her first and for a long time, Shuri thought he was going to be her last. Her biggest fear when they were together was losing him in a gruesome accident or that he’d come home from his tour overseas in a coffin. Shuri was so confident that she never considered she would lose him because he didn’t want her anymore.

 

And as she looked at the young woman which eyes were shimmering with unshed tears in the mirror, she felt even more pathetic. Ridiculous. If only she knew he was coming earlier, she would have cancelled her flight to Oakland. Because this was why she avoided the city for so many years. She wasn’t ready to face him again and probably never would. It dawned on her she was too weak to.

 

Shuri glanced up at her elaborate updo and with a sign, she took the pins one by one till her braids fell into a cascade on her back and shoulders. Slapped her cheeks with both hands and spoke aloud:

 

“This is going to be okay. You’re a big girl. You got this.”

* * *

 

A few steps down the stairs and she heard his voice. The music and loud chatter had stopped while she were in the bathroom. He probably had a cold because it sounded lower and raspier than she remembered.

 

She hold onto the wooden railing, more for fear of walking down the stairs in quick anticipation than fear of falling to her knees. The sound of her heels slaming down the ciment tiles in the corridors announced her arrival and some family members greeted her with awkward, apologetic smiles when she appeared in the living room.

 

He was talking to T’Challa in front of the stone fireplace, hands flailing animatedly and making comical expressions. His hair was longer now and he had a beard. She immediately figured he wasn’t in the army anymore. Still, he looked beefier than in her memories as her eyes traveled over his form as subtly as she could.

 

It is customary to greet each guest but after a few steps of walking towards them, Shuri stood frozen into place. Thankfully, T’Challa noticed her presence and came forward.

 

Bucky’s eyes bulged as he saw her and in an unsure stride, he slowly trailed after her brother to meet her, hands tucked into his trousers. A classic sign of his nervousness. He explained to her once he always did it to hide the tremors on his hands.

 

“James”, she said as their eyes finally met. Just one second before she averted her eyes. He hated his birthname but she didn’t have it in her to call him Bucky right now.

 

“Shuri”, he nearly whispered as his lips slightly parted open. T’Challa’s gaze made an awkward back and forth between the two of them.

 

“You clean up nice”, Bucky said as he narrowed his eyes, shamelessly giving her a slow once over. Her treacherous body reacted by a tell tale tingle travelling up her spine and Shuri internally justified it for not having been laid for an entire month.

 

She wanted to reply confidently to the compliment but felt like there was a golf ball lodged inside her throat. Besides, she thought it was a little lame. She knows the way the white dress hugged her figure like second skin. She’s been told how sexy she looks everytime she wears it. So no, she didn’t just “clean up nice”.

 

But Bucky didn’t either. Even decked into an ugly green Christmas sweater himself, he looked just as edible as her mother’s smoked salmon. The material still stretched out over his broad shoulders in a way she found criminal. Thankfully, Zuri approached the trio, slapping a hand on Bucky’s back and releasing her out of her thoughts in the process.

 

“I found this one wandering in the streets like a lost baby deer”, he quipped.

 

Bucky’s ears turned crimson. “I wasn’t lost.”

 

“You didn’t take an Uber ?”, T’Challa asked as he furrowed his brows. “That’s dangerous.”

 

Shuri glanced at her brother, wondering what the hell he drank before she came back. Her family lived in the most cliché white picket fence neighboorhood in the Oakland hills. There wasn’t a single menace around, especially when there was christmas lightning and camera surveillance all around the vicinity. The streets were always deserted on Christmas Eve and Bucky looked big enough to take down an opponent or two anyway.

 

“I was fine man”, Bucky replied.

 

She definitely sensed some irritation in his voice and stared as a silent conversation passed between T’Challa and her ex. Almost reluctantly, she slipped away from them, feeling the way Bucky’s gaze trailed after her as she joined other guests for some small talk. At dinner, she noticed the strategic placement made by her mother to avoid any bad blood. Still, Ramonda assigned Bucky to a chair which was two places away from being directly opposite Shuri. So she wanted them close enough to see and talk to each other. Except Shuri had no plan to.

 

She dutifully stared at the red candles and the holly branches forming a trail from one end of the table to another. Her dark skin didn’t betray the way her temperature raised being in close proximity to Bucky but Shuri still felt thankful when came the roasted beef salad with goat cheese. Eating some cold food would do her good.

 

When they finally got to the main course after three other entrées, she fiddled with a pine cone, drowning the way her family laughed and clapped at Bucky and T’Challa’s retellings of their barracks shenanigans when they were touring together.

 

He could charm the pants out of anyone, she thought as she kept an unreadable expression.

 

Shuri wanted to quench her thirst with alcohol but the closest _Moët & Chandon_ bottle was right in front of Bucky. She was considering being petty and going back to the kitchen just to open another bottle but noticed he was looking at her. His gaze followed hers and in a minute, Bucky was out of his seat with the bottle in hand. 

 

Her heartbeat elevated as he confidently walked around the table, closing the distance between them. The chatter momentarily stopped as everyone looked at the both of them.

 

“You could have just passed the bottle to me. Guests aren’t supposed to do the service”, Shuri whispered angrily as he leaned next to her.

 

She bit her lips after subconsciously taking a whiff of his cologne, hating the way saliva pooled into her mouth. The champagne bottle dangerously tilted over her glass as Bucky’s arm trembled.

 

Shuri frowned.“Are you okay ?”, she asked him. A quick glance at his face and she noticed he was wincing in pain and gnashing his teeth. Without thinking, Shuri put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 

That’s when the content of the bottle flowed on the table instead of her glass. Worse, Bucky kept tilting the bottle as he pulled backwards and Shuri let out a screeching noise as some champagne streamed from her chest to her lap.

 

Staring at the freezing cold, wet mess on her brand new white dress, she gasped in disbelief. Bucky reached for the closest napkins and made a move to dry off the champagne from her lap but she slapped his hands away.

 

“You’ve done enough damage”, Shuri spit with venom, her voice low and threatening.

 

He pulled back as if she slapped his face instead and for a second, she thought she could read heartbreak on his face. Because they both knew the sentence didn’t just apply to him spilling champagne over her. She dismissed his reply with a shake of the head as she left her seat like a fury, leaving disapproving whispers after her. Even the kids who sat at a smaller dinner table stared at her like a mob of red fishes out of water.

 

In a few seconds, she took a turn right to the small downstairs bathroom, not bothering to lock the door.There was no mirror here but she didn’t need one to know her favourite dress was ruined. She cursed under her breath, looking down at the extent of the damages. It was silly and maybe her biggest overreaction but the only thing she wanted to do now was to curl up into a ball and cry.

 

She searched through the drawers for a dryer and kept her back turned when the door opened.

 

“Go the fuck away !”

 

“I’m sorry”, he rasped.

 

Her breath hitched and she momentarily stopped her thorough search. “Cool. Now kindly fuck off and leave me alone Bucky.”

 

She heard the tell tale clank of the key and whipped her head to stare at him in shock, leaving her crouched position to stand. Then, she furiously walked in his direction. Crossed her arms as she stood right in front of him, pointedly ignoring the way his shoulders and mass fitted just enough to pass through the doorframe.

 

“This is my house. Just leave”, she articulated as calmly as possible.

 

“I won’t be rude. Your brother invited me”, he countered while furrowing his brows.

 

“Sure. Because spending Christmas with your exe’s family is totally cool and gentlemanly.”

 

“Shuri. I wanted to see you. I wasn’t going to pass that opportunity.”

 

Her expression hardened at that. “You had plenty of opportunities to reach for me in four years you coward. But you still choose the cruelest way to see me again. Is that funny to see me without a plus one for the party ? Did you enjoy that ?”

 

“I’m not responsible for your insecurities Shuri. You are. And no, I didn’t _relish_ on seeing you alone but I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t relieved to see there was no boyfriend at your side.”

 

Shuri scoffed. “You’re the least adequate person to ever be jealous over me !”. Her pointed finger dug into his chest. “A hypocrite and a liar. That’s what you are Barnes.”

 

She turned her back after that, determined to dry herself off. Took one clothe from the towel hanger and proceeded to tap it against her chest.

 

“At least, i’m honest enough to admit I missed you and wanted to see you. You don’t even extend the same courtesy to me”, he countered.

 

“Why would I hand any courtesy to a man who didn’t have enough decency not to fuck a girl in our shared appartment.”

 

When she leveled her eyes with his again, she could read cold fury in his gaze. But he was still containing it. So Shuri tried to push his buttons further. Her new goal was cruel. Hurting him as much as he hurt her.

 

“I didn’t fuck anyone but you”, he gruffed as he took a step forward.

 

Shuri raised her brows in mock surprise. “Oh you didn’t ? What’s next ? ‘It’s not what you believe it is’ ? Save your lies for Carrott hair thanks. And you know what Bucky ? I do miss a part of you sometimes and i wonder why since the sex was decent at best."

 

Ignoring the attack, Bucky kept walking in her direction. “Her name is Natasha.”

 

There was a silence after that. Shuri’s drying movements on her dress lost their fury as he approached her. He stopped right in front of her, towering over her even when she wore high heels.

 

“What makes you think I need to know her name ?”, she whispered in a defeated tone, deliberately avoiding his intense gaze.

 

His calloused hands cradled her face and she clenched her jaw, giving him a defiant stare, heaving chest betraying her inner emotions. He leaned in a bit and she quietly gasped, suspecting an unexpected kiss from him.

 

But he did nothing of the sort.

 

Instead, he simply traced the lines and ridges of her face with reverence, his thumbs lingering on the cut of her cheekbones and the slight upward tilt of her nose. Shuri remembered he did say he found it cute before. When her brows furrowed in confusion, his fingers came up to soften them until she just blinked at him stupidly. The towel laid on the cemented tiles.

 

That’s when Bucky closed his eyes while his hands kept caressing her face. As if he was saving her features for memory.

 

After a few minutes, his hand found the back of her neck and he leaned in to pull their foreheads together. Shuri’s whole body tensed at the gesture, fists clenched tight. She didn’t know if she wanted to push him off or hug him.

 

His breath ghosted over her mouth as he whispered: “Thank you.”

 

Her eyes went to his pink lips by their own and Bucky chuckled at that. Stunned, she finally coiled away and pushed him off. But Bucky still looked at her with so much longing and fondness that she didn’t find him in her to be angry. She only felt tired. So so tired. So she hugged herself and sat at the edge of the antique bathtub while Bucky needlessly supported himself with the vanity unit.

 

He broke the silence.“Her name was Natasha. She was a specialist.”

 

“Banging a prostitute doesn’t make it-”

 

“Sorry, I should have said eye care professional. She was...she’s still a good friend and look...”

 

Bucky took a sharp breath and swallowed down his anxiety. Suddenly, he shook his head and gave a mirthless laughter as he spread his fingers and looked down, wiggling them open and close.

 

“I had my suspicions before, you know but I didn’t want you to worry over me. So in that way, you were right about my insecurities as a boyfriend. So I called Nat. It’s funny how I spilled orange juice over her the same way I did with you tonight. But I swear I didn’t do it on purpose with her. Can’t totally say the same about you. But it wasn’t only my eyes failing me this time Shuri. You touched me again and I just...I’m really disappointed it didn’t end with you in your underwear this time.”

 

He clenched one hand into a fist and made a resounding noise when it met his other palm.

 

“Sorry. What I meant to say is I can barely see anything now and after so many years, the anything will quickly turn into nothing. Though i’m thankful I see just enough to know how gorgeous you look tonight.”

 

Shuri frowned and slowly, she unfolded her arms. She could feel her heart threatening to break out of her ribcage as the painful realization was on its way to hit her like a train.

 

It came back to her. The tremors. The squinting. The pain. T’Challa’s protectiveness.

 

“What are you saying ?”, she croaked as tears started to blur her own vision.

 

“I won’t be able to look at you anymore sweet baby...”

 

The use of his favourite nickname for her made her scoff and choke as her nails dug new creases into her palms. On their own accord, her legs moved and in a few steps, she was right in front of him again, shaking her head in disbelief.

 

Shuri wanted to speak but all that came out was a croaked sob so her hand came up to her throat in self awareness. So Bucky kept on talking.

 

“We were younger then. More stupid. I thought...I still think you don’t need a blind man dragging you down.”

 

Now, Shuri shook her head aggressively and he gave a mirthless laugh. In response, she lightly punched his chest. He caught her hand into his and brought it to his lips for a kiss that achieved to break her heart.

 

“I wanted to look one last time”, he whispered in a conspiratorial tone. “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. And I’m sorry for your dress.”

 

Even her sweet giggle let her newfound pain resound in it. Her other hand found his shoulder and rested on it like old times.

 

“Why didn’t you say anything you dumbass?”, she asked with no real venom.

 

Bucky chuckled. “I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”

 

Shuri sighed and arched an eyebrow. “You really think i’m that shallow, don’t you ?”

 

“You made a stank face at everyone’s outfit tonight.”

 

“It’s not my fault you lot can’t dress up to save your lives”, she countered with a scrunched nose.

 

“Whatever. You can kiss me if you want to”, he said as he leaned in and caressed her cheek with his nose. “I think I saw a mistletoe somewhere in there but my peripheral vision is abysmal now so...”

 

Shuri forced a smile and glanced up and around the cramped bathroom. Her gaze stopped at the shower curtain and she finally gave a real, joyful grin when she noticed the mistletoe patterns on it. Made a mental note to tell her mother to go easy on the Christmas decorations next year and shook her head before cradling Bucky’s face with her own and bringing his head down till their breaths ghosted each other. His hands found her waist and she saw how his face lit up, marveling once again at the way he could easily hug her form.

 

“You owe me a dress Sergeant. A dress and a bottle of champagne for wasting so much time of my life”, she said in a playful tone.

 

They needed to have a longer conversation because there was so much issues and pain to uncover but for now, Shuri just longed to have his lips against hers and if she played her cards right, she could get up to a very unholy Christmas Eve in her childhood bedroom after this.

 

Bucky gave her a sly, flirty smile as he pulled her closer to him till their chests were pressed tight against each other.

 

“I’d give you as many _Moet and Chandon_ bottles as you want. Just kiss me please”, he said with a sultry voice that caused another pleasant tingle down her spine and a shudder in her guts.

 

Shuri licked her lips. “I don’t want that again. Buy me Crystal nex time ! I never had Crystal in my life.”

 

He playfully rolled his eyes before biting at her lower lip. She brought a hand to his long, luscious brown locks and in retaliation, pulled to hear him moan just for her. She exploited the moment his mouth parted to invade it with her sweet tongue. The kiss tasted better than she dared to imagine in her wildest dreams. It felt just right. Like the planets in her universe were aligned again.

 

It tasted like mulled wine and champagne. Tasted like melting snow blossoming into the warmth of spring.

 

Most importantly, it tasted like finally coming home.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always feel like Christmas gifts so you're welcome !<3  
> Tumblr is Oopswakandaforever if you wanna chat.


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